Main Attractions
These are the things which I assume people are going to say "Oh
you went there? Did you see..." and of course are a matter of
opinion!
The Colosseum, Forum and Museo Palatino
Many and most guide books will give you an admirable breakdown of the
various monuments and sites within these ancient complexes, so I
shan't be doing that!
A mere €12 will get you into all three sites, and as we got to the
Forum quite late on Day 1, we were most obliged to the lovely gate
personnel who let us through the gate again to see the museum on Day
2. The ticket will last you two days, which is plenty of time for
both sites (the Museum is within the Forum).
The site of the Forum houses two impressive collections, one of glass
and mosaic relics from the site, and the Museo Palatino, showing both
Roman and earlier remains found on that particular hill. There were
holes found that were previously the foundation of a round-ended hut.
I'm not going to make any assertions about any mythical twins, but as
the hill gives a commanding view of the city - it isn't surprising
that people have been settled here a while. The sculpture floor is
interesting as it shows Rome's interest in other cultures and how
they integrated the things they liked (sphinxes, Bes, elephants) into
their own wall art. Definitely worth including.
The grounds of the Forum are a pleasure to stroll around in, columns
and statues kept clear in places from the Mediterranean hedgerow. My
favourite part was in the ruins of the palace of Tiberus, on top of
which spread the pleasure gardens of Cardinal Farnese (Orte
Farnesiani). In the bowels of the palace, an old fountain or altar
space is gradually calcifying beneath the run-off from a leaking
fountain above its ceiling. Two statues remain behind its locked
doors; everything else is gone. Above, rambling plants have all-but
overgrown the waterfall which provides oxygen for the goldfish living
below (goldfish may not be original).
The Colosseum is bound to please. It is as the name suggests, and
houses displays on artefacts found in the complex, as well as
discussion on what went on there and how. I don't think I need to go
into detail here; you're going to see it even if you don't visit it,
and if you're seeing it, you'll probably visit it!
Awesome history: 8/10
New discoveries: 8/10
Partially under construction: 4/10 (no navel for us)
The Vatican Museum and St Peter's Basilica
We ended up in town on Free
Sunday, so we headed over for Free Sunday. But of course, so had
everyone else. Get over there early!!
So, we were offered a guided tour
for €25 each which would mean skipping the queue and being told
some fascinating facts into the bargain. Faced with the possibility
of large wooden doors slamming in our faces, we opted in. Never
Again.
We assumed, until our guide
started talking, that this was a reputable tour company. We'd also
assumed, having been in Egypt for a while, that this sort of offer
was for a guide for us
and just
us. Oh-oh no, my
friend! We were at least 60 strong as we fast-tracked through those
gates and were handed from person to person until we reached 'Cas',
our guide.
The Tiger thinks she was a Djinn.
He was very sure, after some bad experiences in Egypt, to ask
explicitly
for an English-speaking guide. That's what we got. That's all
we got.
Well, not quite all...
Alarm bells started ringing when,
while we waited for people to make sure they had used the lavatory
and loaded up on water, she began talking about herself, not the
ancient and revered building in whose lobby we were standing in. I
took the red pill; some of you know what that mean
- cute, geeky reference, I can dig that. She's an artist - doesn't
like the art in the lobby (to be fair, neither did I, it's god-awful.
Pardon the pun) - but it went on...
- Name: Cassiopeia Bush. Not genetically related to those Bushes, however...
- Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Vlad "Dracula" are (it's all on the Internet)
- I'm here in political exile, by the way.
- I'm a citizen of the Republic of California; there's no such thing as the United States of America; that's just a corporation.
- We're all slaves of the corporations, by the way; just most of us don't know it.
- I always trust my instincts (trust your instincts)
- Michelangelo was thinking with both sides of his brain (do the math, two sides!)
- The Monument is like a pine cone. PINE cone, PINEal gland? Do the math!
- It's funny how in so many cultures you get this pine staff, like the pineal gland, huh? Do the math!
- Michelangelo was off the scale artistically. Michelangelo's OCD was off the scale. I'm OCD too, by the way.
- Up there is a dragon: draco: draconus: draconian: do the math! Trust your instincts; it's all on the Internet.
- If you could get me anything, I would say get me into the vault. Or one of these; this urn is marble and amber (OK, less conspiracy-theorist, but... it was alabaster, not amber...)
- We all know about Amber from Jurassic Park; we all know what amber truly is now...
- So there was Cleopatra I, II... so this is Cleopatra... and of course she was Alexander the Great's niece, she was Macedonian, that's on the internet. (It was Cleopatra VII!! VII!! and I think after that many generations (and as Ptolemy was not Alexander's nephew), she's allowed to be called Egyptian!!! [The Tiger's rage had shown a while ago. This is the point I got properly vocal.])
- They have an observatory here, the highest in the world, that they didn't tell us about until recently - that's very interesting, isn't it? Well, now they've told us about the telescope in the Antarctic, the new highest on earth, they've finally told us! It's on the Internet...
- The Romans quarried 95% of Egypt's red granite, and 85% of that is in Rome. (Egyptophile note: Um... have you been to Aswan?! If they'd taken 85% of 95% of Aswan's granite, the entire city would have to be made of it).
And it goes on.
Basically, it's all about your pineal glad, the Vatican are hiding
things from us, and if it had been done in a way which was tongue in
cheek, or if we'd asked for it, fine! But really? It just made us
cross. I hate to say it, but I would not support on-the-spot guides
again. I just wouldn't.
As for the Vatican?
Go. They have an amazing collection of Greek and Roman statuary, two
rooms of sensational beasts, Raphael's tapestries and of course the
Sistine Chapel itself, in all its restored glory. The Basilica as
well is beautiful, but again, if you're there, you're going to see
it. You don't need me to tell you to go!
Conspiracy
theories: 9/10
Of course you need
math! It's an architectural master piece! 10/10
Ripped off in Rome:
9/10 (there were moments of entertainment value)
Villa Borghese
I'm tempted to say this one might be a little less well known, as I
had no knowledge of it pre-Roma, but as you have to book a time-slot
to get in, it can't be too ambiguous!
Located in the vast Borghese estate, this art
collection-become-museum is an exhibition in itself. Famous
architects were involved in every stage of its construction, as
Cardinal Scipione Borghese and his descendants had very, very refined
tastes!
Lucrezia Borgia doesn't feature, but Bernini, Carravaggio, Raphael
and Ancient Rome do.
Cardinal Sciopione shamelessly used his own influence and that of his
uncle (the Pope) to collect a vast and ranging variety of sculpture
and canvas. He also had an eye for new talent. If you're not a fan of
Bernini before you go (and you may be), you will be after seeing his
David, Apollo and Daphne and The Rape of Persephone.
It is marble as alive as it will ever be, including branches with
leaves made of the stuff, which apparently ring like crystal
if you tap them. David bites his lip before he loses the rock;
Daphne's fingers become the most delicate leaves; Persephone's flesh
yields beneath Pluto's grabbing fingers. They are, for want of a
better word, beautiful.
The audioguide is a must, as the labels are in Italian, and even
then, not detailed. I learned the difference between Neoclassicism
and Baroque, courtesy of Bernini and a statue of Napoleon's sister.
There is also the fact that the whole house was made to be
beautiful, so the ceilings are all either fresco or portraits that
have been attached to the ceiling. The Egyptian room is the most
ridiculous, as it is so obviously fashionable, not accurate (Anubis,
in particular, is hilariously bad), but then perhaps a scholar of
Roman art would say the same of some of the more Roman decorations.
Go. For the sake of all that's beautiful, go.
Holy f*ck 10/10
I don't even 10/10
More please 10/10
